I saw Cats live the other day, and it was amazing! I loved it! Not just the dancing, which was completely awesome, but the music too! It was so much better than on the DVD and CD! And the skill some of those dancers have... it's just amazing!
And I loved Mr Mistoffelees. I think he was mute or something, cause I didn't see him sing, but he was such an amazing dancer. ^^ And the Rum Tum Tugger is awesome! And I loved Grizabella's song... Who's the cat that sings memory with her though? I haven't managed to find out her name yet...

When we got home the other day I was singing and dancing around the house and scaring my family. ^^ I even forced my parents to dance with me. But I loved it, and they can see that quite clearly. I've been listening to the CD ever since... >>;

For Ag, we took a one day old chicken home over the weekend. We were trying to get them to imprint on us/a toy. I had a little rusty-yellow chick with a black dot and smudge on her head. [link] I named her Indii-Featherdot. ^^ I generally called her Indii or little one. >>

I way trying to imprint her onto a small cat toy that was sparkly, had a couple of feathers and was filled with catnip. She sometimes followed it, but I'm pretty sure she ended up imprinting on my hand. She'd nearly always run to my hand and would rather run to my hand than the toy. Then again, when she sounded upset or was trying to get out of her box I would put my hand in to comfort her, so that might be part of the reason why.
Yesterday she wouldn't sleep unless she was in my hand. It was cute, but it was also a pain since I was trying to get to sleep. -.- She woke me up at 5:30 or something this morning too. I was too tired to get up properly, so I cradled her to me and lay down again. She buried into my shirt! It was so cute, but it tickled. She fell asleep in there; she must have been nice and warm.

We had to give them back today. We'll be testing the experiment on Wednesday to see if they come to us. I really hope she does!
I've missed Indii all day; I didn't want to give her back! I want to keep her! I've been feeling anxious and miserable all day; I really want her back. I talked to one of the others and she wants her chicken back too, but she doesn't seem to be feeling the pain I'm feeling. And I really shouldnt be feeling this pain; I knew from the beginning we had to give them back. I didn't expect to get so attached to her. TT^TT
I keep imagining I can still hear her chirping. It's driving me insane! I can't stand to hear birds chirping at the moment; it reminds me of her, and it hurts.

My friends who didn't do it didn't seem to understand how much I want her back. I really wanted comfort but I don't know how to ask for it... And they didn't seem to understand that I wanted it...

...are overrated. Why the hell do they have to be so chaotic?

My cat needs to get two of her back teeth removed. She's in pain and has been for quite a while from the looks of things. All because we didn't go to the "dentist" for a check up. Even after we were told to. Despite how I reminded mum and tried to get us to go. Now she's suffering and all because we were too stupid to listen. Again.

My old dog Foxie got sick and after she got better we were told to take her back for a check up and blood test. We didn't. Again, with my reminders and the fact that I thought she was sick anyway.
She died because we didn't take her.

I know that it's different with Star, that it's not as serious, but that's not the point! She's in pain and it could have been prevented! What kind of owner am I to let her suffer? Why can't my parents bloody listen to the advice we were given? It wasn't given out as a bloody joke!

And I just found out that my favourite horse from my riding school died.
I'm sick of all the pain these stupid emotions cause. I wish I couldn't bloody feel them.

Happy New Year everybody!!! ^^

I have a lot to update you on, and I'm afraid some of this may end up being a rant. I'm really not feeling good at the moment. Anyway, better tell you everything in order.


Two weeks ago I was helping at the farm (I was already out of school, my little brother wasn't). On the first day I helped with the bees, which was really stupid since I knew we had to smoke them and I knew that would be bad for my asthma. I didn't realise how bad though.
It wasn't so bad at first, just a bit uncomfortable and a bit of coughing. I managed to avoid most of the smoke. But after a while I started to feel light-headed so I started to head back up.
The bees are in TSR, the paddock connected to the cattle yards where we chase the animals out if they're going to the bottom paddocks. There's a small fairly flat area at the top, but then there's a fairly steep hill. The bees are at the bottom of this hill.
Anyway, I started to head up, but I barely got a quarter of the way up the base of the hill before I simply didn't have the strength to keep standing. So I sat down, trying to breathe deeply and clear my lightheadedness. The others called out to ask if I was ok and I replied that I was. So they went back to robbing the honey.
After a moment though I wasn't feeling quite so confident that I was alright though.
I started to have difficulty breathing and I couldn't even keep myself sitting upright; it was too hard. I lay down, but then it was harder to breathe so I had to force myself back up to a sitting position.
Then I started to get scared, because I could barely breathe. I looked to the others, hoping that someone had noticed, hoping for help. But they were all busy with the hives. No one knew the trouble I was in, and I couldn't call for help. I didn't have the breath.
So I ended up just trying to focus on my breathing but it was still realy, really hard. My vision started going funny and I couldn't feel my head and I couldn't breathe and I was terrified.
Thankfully though, one of the girls ended up coming over to check on me. And then I was suddenly feeling sick.
I ripped the gloves off as best as I could and tried to take off the hood of the bee suit, but I couldn't manage to do it. I needed air though and I needed the hood off since I was going to throw up. The girl finally got it off me and struggled to lean over to the side for when I threw up.
I didn't end up throwing up though but I could keep myself up longer so I lay down again.
The girl went to go get the other girl and they ended up helping me up the hill.
The odd thing is, when we were almost at the top, I felt almost completely better. At least, I was with it enough too notice the bee stinging my hand.
As soon as we were out of the paddocks I rushed to get out of the suit, with the girls helping me. I was still jittery.
Then another bee stung my neck and the teacher came over and they sent me off to get my puffer after a minute of making me stay still.

I think that's the most scared I've ever been in my life.
I've kinda remained paranoid since, I've been keeping my puffer either on me or really close by.

Anyway, the other two days at the farm ended up being fine, seeing as I got to go horse riding both days and didn't have another attack.

The day after I finished at the farm though, I went to mow my grandma's lawn and on the way out dad was trying/pretending to lock me in. So I tried to jump the gate.
I didn't quite make it. And note that it was on concrete.
Anyway, I killed my hand, knee, and hip. It was all fine except that it was the bones in my hand that hurt. Also, after a little while I started to get a bad headache. I hadn't hit my head.
The pain wasn't affected by the painkillers I took; it simply got worse.
I ended up going to hospital. Since I have a weak neck, I thought I must have damaged it or something to give me such a bad headache.
We got there and we told the doctors what happened and I was given a bed, but then they just left me to lie there for an hour or so with the pain.
I understand that they couldn't help since they had someone having a heart attack but I just wish they had given me some painkillers or something to stop the pain. Because the pain made me want to cry, and I can't breathe when I cry.
I started to hyperventilate anyway, because even trying not to cry was making it hard to breathe, and with the incident on Tuesday, that really scared me.
In the end there was nothing wrong with my head and my hand wasn't broken. So I sat in the hospital for hours, in pain, and had nothing to help it for basically nothing. Sure, my parents said it was reassuring that there nothing wrong with my head, but we went there because I was in pain and they did nothing about it.
I don't think that's quite right.

Anyway, two days later I had a concert with my choir. It went well beside the few times I hit my hand or hip. I had fun in the end. And some of the singers there were amazing, they were truly beautiful to listen to.

After that nothing much happened till yesterday.

Three of my friends and I went to see Madagascar 2 yesterday; one of my friends was lucky to come since her mum's so paranoid. The movie was great and all and we had my mum pick us up. My friend tried to call her mum a couple of times but her mum's mobile was off.
Her mum had told her to call when the movie was over but didn't bother to leave her phone on; how the HELL is that supposed to work?
Anyway, we went to one of my other friend's house and stayed there for a while.
Then my friend's mum called.
My friend's mum wasn't happy with her for not calling; which is unfair because she had! Her mum was so angry and that upset my friend so much.
I HATE to see my friends in pain. And there was nothing I could really do.
My mum came and picked my friend and I up and we went back to my place to meet my friend's mum.
My friend put on a happy facade in front of her mum, despite how worried she was.
I think her mum was just waiting to be away from me and my mum before exploding. That's what it looked like to me.
My friend and I went to get her stuff while my mum stayed and explained. I wanted to explain too but I knew that there was a good chance of me getting angry and making the situation worse.
In the end I don't think my mum got far.
In a way, I don't think my friend should have acted happy around her mum; that way her mum won't figure out how much her anger affected my friend, and I think she should know how highly my friend values her opinion. That way she might understand that there was no harm intended.
But I can't help that.
I haven't heard from her yet, so I don't know how it went. I really hope she's okay, I'm worried for her. She's always under so much pressure.

Thanks to anyone who could be bothered to read this. I really needed to get this out.